Josh’s Note: The following posting is by a special guest, my wife Denyse Carter.

Denyse’s Note: I wrote the following in response to the many nice things my husband writes about and does for me and to show him, that yes, I do take an interest in his work

As the first lady of Carter Fitness, I am often asked “What’s it like being a trainer’s wife?” My usual response is to say that, contrary to what they may imagine, it’s a fairly typical existence. But recently I reflected on this question, truly thought about what they might be getting at.

Considering how the average person might live I tried to visualize the expectations of these questioners. Do they picture restricted mealtimes and bootcamp-like drills run throughout my house? Perhaps they envision guilt trips or sneaked snacks or even lectures about what to serve for dinner. Do they assume my grocery list is ripped from an “approved foods” appendix of a trainer’s manual? Or maybe they simply imagine having one’s eating and exercise habits under constant scrutiny of a fitness trainer may be cause for tension.

Let me just state that this is not at all the case. However, as I pondered further I came to realize that perhaps by comparison, the Carter Family’s lifestyle might seem somewhat regimented.

 
Putting the kids on a work regimen.

First, I must emphasize that Josh has never pressured me to be fit nor is he critical of my food choices. I never feel chastised or judged in any way. Even if I do indulge in some “forbidden food” or slouch on the couch all day I hear nary a complaint from my beloved. He is by nature supportive, tenderhearted and never one to criticize.

But enough of about him – back to me!

While I don’t consider myself a health fanatic nor, as I have established, am I a victim of trainer(husband) stink-eye, somehow the choices I make for myself and my family truly are rooted in health. I prepare and serve lean, low carb meals and healthy snacks. I don’t let the kids load up on sugar or junk. Exercise is a routine part of our lives. On occasion we allow ourselves some decadent treats.

Getting in some exercise -it can be fun!

As I have stated our “healthy” lifestyle is not a product of any urging or nagging by my husband-the-trainer. And I certainly wasn’t programmed for it. I am an admitted sweet tooth, raised on nightly ice cream desserts. My enthusiasm for exercise can’t hold a candle to Josh’s.

I’m a below-average cook (sorry honey!) and I haven’t a clue how to make vegetables taste yummy. Yet with no overt demands from my hubby, my family has avoided becoming a statistic in America’s rising obesity rate. In spite of what might seem like my own natural inclination toward junk food, my home is full of selections you would expect to find in a trainer’s cupboard.

So how did we get there? My now innate mind-set regarding nutrition/fitness actually came about in a gradual and inadvertent manner. While Josh has never lectured me on the topic, it’s not to say he doesn’t care. He has taught me a great deal both directly and by example, thus he knows that I am well-informed. Having a husband whose passion is nutrition, exercise and general betterment of the human form, tends to rub off on a gal. As the designated meal preparer, I started making and sharing meals that fit Josh’s personal nutrition plan.

Inspired by his lead, and the results he continually achieves with clients, I was naturally inclined to pick up these habits for myself. The “change” was not drastic or painful. It wasn’t scary. Frankly, I didn’t even notice, but I was becoming naturally health-conscious. It eventually sneaks in and becomes your way of life. When you start feeling the results of taking care of your body, it doesn’t seem natural to revert to the old ways.

Just as Josh’s training partner (and our mutual friend) said having kept 100 pounds off for several years under Josh’s guidance, “I can’t imagine ever going back to the way I was.” It was truly a different life.

 
Our friend Norm…lean for life.

This is not to say that I am perfect (nor does Josh expect that of me) or that I don’t indulge in less optimal foods. I do. But even then I am more inclined to reach for a low sugar hunk of dark chocolate rather than a sickly sweet Snickers bar. With time, you really can lose your taste for less healthy foods. Once you have committed to the new ways you instinctively start to modify recipes, choose lower fat/carb menu items, and save the junk for the “cheat day” or as an occasional treat. (Believe me, it tastes better when you have been saving up for it anyway.)

As for working out, anyone who has exercised regularly can tell you how crappy you feel without it. Just try taking a week off.

Now let me talk about the kids. Of course we all want our children to be healthy but giving them an appreciation of this takes more than just good intentions. I am so grateful to Josh for raising them in an environment of physical fitness. This is not to say that our wee ones are deprived of coveted childhood treats. They just know these are reserved as (in the words of the new and improved Cookie Monster) “sometimes foods” or we substitute them with healthier versions.

 
Enjoying a sometimes food.

And the kids can still be kids.

My 5 year old has been known to shove a whole cookie in his mouth before dinner rather than relinquish it to a demanding mommy’s outstretched hand. And don’t even try to pry a milkshake away from my toddler whose “stay away” eyes and furrowed brow can only be matched by the iron grip on his sippy cup. But when his milkshake is a fresh fruit smoothie and the cookie is made with Splenda instead of sugar then everyone wins.

Stay Away Eyes

I am proud to be married to a man that not only sets an example for his clients but is an inspiration to his wife and kids as well. The boys to want to be just like him and work in daddy’s gym. Awww, yeah it?
??s cute, but also how wonderful that they are surrounded by an atmosphere of healthy living – since birth!

I am thrilled they will grow up with an advantage in an area that, for so many, can be a struggle later in life. In fact I knew we were doing okay when my oldest said to me the other day, “Thank you for making me healthy meals, Mommy.”

It’s my and Josh’s anniversary this month. In my 16 years with Josh, I have gained a great deal (but not in weight!) I am motivated by him to push hard and to do my best every time I do anything. Josh inspires that in people. True, he is someone who can transform your body, but it ends up being much more than that.

Last year’s anniversary in Hawaii

When you achieve awareness of wellbeing on this level, your whole life is transformed. He has instilled in his clients the drive to give up more than just junk food. Some have abandoned smoking, bad relationships, self-neglect…anything that detracts from their new feel-good way of life.

I understand that such a change can seem scary to your basic bystander. I know that people fear “giving up” foods they love, or disrupting the daily routine. They agonize over the thought of analyzing their food choices or expending coveted energy on exercise. Many have felt this way one time or another. Even Fitness Guru Josh had to work to get where he is now, having spent several years as a chubby child.

 
A chubby teenage Josh.

In truth change can seem hard *at first*. But once that initial step is taken, if you can set aside your resistance to change, you may not even realize that you are re-learning your daily routine. Very quickly these choices become second nature.

My good friend and her spouse, both clients of Josh’s, told me that they were surprised by each other recently when upon meeting at noon they discovered they had each chosen protein shakes for lunch.

So when I say that life as a trainer’s wife is “typical” that is to say I don’t spend my days feeling pressured into eating right and exercising. Rather, I am inspired to do so. I don’t labor over my food choices, my lifestyle dictates them naturally. If our existence seems restrictive, it doesn’t feel that way to me. I know Josh hopes that every life he touches will be made better by enabling individuals to achieve the same for themselves.

To the man who helps so many others, I say thank you for making it so easy to live a healthy and vibrant life with you and our children. And if having your spouse’s unwavering love and support is “typical” then I’m right about life with a trainer. Thanks for bringing fun, health and happiness to our little corner of the world.

 

Denyse Carter
Go to http://carterfitness.com